Spam Delights
random occasional district provocation
Am I the only one who likes the craziness of random spam ? I mean, spam is an appalling waste of time.. but the mad shit that arrives masquerading as genuine email contains occasional treasures, like nuggets of gold in a pan of dirt.
For example, just arrived:“HarDco*re Teeen Movies & Piks DowwnLoa*ds! P”
- and since I have inline images and HTML turned OFF (as all good hard-working children should do) I get a few links (which of course I ignore) and a whole wadge of random text. I advise taking a deep breath and seeing how much of this you can say out loud before surfacing for air:
co avid samba simulcast windy artifact flack adulterous anglophobia morton worst hocus cadre duff privet fissure shock disseminate burmese zirconium delegable graduate cliche disjunct commit egalitarian sarsaparilla durkin piotr synagogue recife roughneck desert adore inalterable halvah hundredfold tramp y chine kumquat emphasis chester browse strike autonomic lamar blutwurst crankshaft buildup stearns cowslip synergism brillouin allegation ardent dapple ark retardation hermes dovetail bishop bonneville embroider demand correspond bunyan shampoo transfer denture rembrandt attach connect incongruity lodestone consular americium amorous dutchess scotland yarrow asbestos cachalot armoire bourbon fig ginseng ambiance implore pro ellison florican soot fischer clatter sticktight winfield bursitis authoritarian boxcar pinkie probate upsurge conjecture degum cretin decontrolling kajar nanometer embark district provocation phenol mcclure ravenous sylvester checksum isle nazareth pabst senate blanche assure germanium marcello boreas suffix helga waterhouse brouhaha bryn bulletin absence catapult pay kathy pernicious stiletto custodial clamshell harold true dominant stockroom catheter englishman justiciable class dandelion widgeon defrost deforest bolivar elinor midscale cataclysm sulfanilamide phytoplankton challenge alarm beryllium auric cloister terry aftereffect suite autonomic coniferous burch limousine bacillus solitaire fertile off palo gender gordian adjutant impudent mendacious prairie cuddly crag cony guggenheim rig turnover neutrino windshield ascomycetes repetitive barrack endpoint colosseum filial inflict drumhead america lombardy cantonese streak niobe rafferty owing wrote flagellate ix corey codomain huxley denver countenance flagstaff stock anemone pandanus diagram wispy descriptor jurisprudential conference dunbar stature destruct conspiracy illegitimate aperture completion startup sanderson secretary kitakyushu cytoplasm demoniac poise battelle teratogenic electro anharmonic cattlemen cotangent bulkhead compete exotica corrodible turing nd denial buzz pass umbilici amok acerbity revulsion climax born bloodstain bangui conner insane dreamy typewritten neater tango grover duchess gainful promotion tootle belittle clive taper tapeworm winch electroencephalography hoofmark chariot tennyson trenchermen ceil palette corrigible sedimentary
Let us examine the deeper implications of this priceless text:
terry aftereffect – what is the Terry Aftereffect and Should We Take Action Now ?
authoritarian boxcar – I Am Not Getting Into That Car, It’s Too Bossy
district provocation – “he crossed the border, see, your honour, and once in Camden, we just had to take him out”
shampoo transfer – “My Head – Your Head – beautiful cross – FOAM !!!”
cuddly crag – “You Can Come Down Now…”
catheter englishman – please don’t, I’ll go quietly…
anharmonic cattlemen – “Tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, singing their own brand of raucously out-of-tune country music..”
tapeworm winch – “slowly now…”
bourbon fig ginseng ambiance – mmm I wondered what the incense was… is it edible?
See what I mean? Or is it just me with a morbid sense of humour and a distant memory of being bored as a child and playing word games to cheer myself up?
